Originally published on May 31, 2025
Earlier this month, I attended PAX (Penny Arcade Expo) in Boston, a four-day celebration of gaming and pop culture. I’ve been going to the show for over a decade, meeting up with friends, checking out new board games, attending panels with industry insiders, and playing demos of soon-to-be-released video games. My favorite demo from the show was a small puzzle-platformer called Motion Rec slated to come out later this year. With smart puzzle design and an endearing cute pixel art aesthetic, I finished the fifteen-minute demo wanting to keep playing, which is the best feeling to have when you sit down to play something new at these types of shows.
My favorite booth from the show was Desktop Survivors 98’s wonderfully retro setup that would have fit right in at E3 1998. I haven’t played the game yet, but I did chat for a minute with the developer’s future father-in law who was helping man the booth. He told me about how his daughter’s fiancé had put so much time into developing the game and the clear vision he had for the booth. They packed up their car and drove in from out of state for the show. He talked with a lot of pride for this dude that was joining his family, something really sweet to witness and reminded me of how kind and inviting my father-in-law has been for all the years I’ve known him.
The retro-inspired booth of the newly released Desktop Survivors 98
As we talked, my eyes wandered over to a stack of jewel cases sitting on top of a CRT cycling through footage from the game. He said the discs did have a playable version of the game but lamented that most people don’t have computers with disc drives anymore. I took out my wallet and bought one on the spot. The only thing I like more than fun nostalgia pieces are overcomplicated merchandise that commits to a bit 100%.
You can find developer Brandon Hesslau’s Desktop Survivors 98 on Steam and on itch.io where some of his earlier
ames are on sale (including one called A Game About Literally Doing Your Taxes).
Back in February 2020, during the narrow window of time after people were stocking up on hand sanitizer but before the Covid lockdown, I attended PAX and had the opportunity to talk indie game development with my friend James Johnston who had a booth for his then upcoming title Pixel Puzzle Makeout League. At that point, I hadn’t yet picked up Game Maker but had spent months learning the fundamentals of Python and Javascript, skills I found invaluable when I started working on Sad Land in earnest the following year. James was very kind with his time and encouragement. The prototype of his first game, Thief Town, had been cobbled together in Javascript over a short period of time, he told me between wiping down his controllers with alcohol wipes. I recall walking away from that PAX with a clear vision of myself someday getting a booth to show off my own game, however long that might take.
A lot has changed since PAX 2020. Walking the expo hall in 2025, I can’t help but notice that it’s less intense, less bombastic, and less cluttered with big booths from big studios. There’s a few contributing factors at play to explain this: a larger shift to online events over in-person events to sell games, a smaller turnout in attendees since 2021 (tickets don’t sell out like they used to), and venture capital money shifting from the games industry to A.I., which, in turn, means less money to go around for big and small developers alike.
But a quieter show has its benefits – more comfortable crowd sizes, less noise pollution, and shorter wait times to test out a game that caught your eye on the tenth walk around the show floor.
This month marks an exciting milestone for Sad Land! After years of working on the project exclusively solo, I’m bringing in a producer to assist with managing workflow and deadlines. Jordan Stillman is an events manager and audio fiction producer with years of experience collaborating with artists to bring projects to life. She was the co-director of the Massachusetts Independent Comic Expo for many years and has produced audio fiction podcasts such as The Ordinary Epic, The Wanderer, Greater Boston, and Land Whale Murders. Jordan is also my wife and frequent collaborator, which means she already has a deep understanding of the project and how I work.
As we work to sharpen the production timeline for the Sad Land Demo and work within regular design sprints, I’ll be trying to make a more concerted effort to share my development process in a more transparent way. It can be difficult for me to parse what I make public and what I keep private as Sad Land is a narrative heavy game, but I am starting to feel like the benefits of transparency far outweigh the desire for surprise and secrecy. With that in mind, below you will find a few pages from my development journal outlining some areas I’m working on. The vast majority of work I do on a week-by-week basis is on the computer, either in Photoshop or Game Maker, but I often feel most productive when exploring ideas in my notebook.
And finally, I’ll leave you with a few pieces of art that I am proud of but am fairly certain, based on the direction I’m taking the project, will not appear in any build of the game.
Knowing the best way to move forward and what to leave behind is tough in all areas of life, but I’m happy with how things are taking shape.
Sincerely,
Neil